“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where i end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.” This is a quote written by Henry Cloud.
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel conflicted of how someone makes you feel? or act? Have you ever been in a situation where you feel you need to fulfil someone else’s wish so that you will not feel pressured by them?
There is a saying, the quality of your life is determined by the 5 people you spend most of the time with. A self-reflection is required when you find yourself not meeting your end goals. As in why? What is the boundary do I have?
As elaborated by Stephen Covey, there are withdrawals and deposits of an emotional bank account. How much are you withdrawing from your emotional bank account to give others? By proactively doing things, we earn trust. In this case, it is an deposit. If we reactively respond to an issue, we make an withdrawal. One of the key foundations of a strong relationship is trust. In order to build trust, one must continually make deposits of honesty, kindness, unconditional love, patience, all of those essential virtues that strengthen any relationship. In doing so, we build large reserves in the emotional bank account.”
The boundaries we set for ourselves in a checklist to help us weed out toxic people from our lives. Anyone who does not respect your boundaries, personal space and makes you feel lesser than you should, you need to learn to them go. If, you are in a mental state of consistently making withdrawals, you will need to let that situation, relationship, work or belief system go as well.
Clean the slate and rewrite what you aspire to be. End of the day, if you let others sit in the driver seat of your life, you will live a life fill with discontentment.